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Failed gunner – had you argued less and shot more, you’d have never met Rey and had a chance to run away like you almost did mid-movie. Failed fighter, ran away … why exactly? What prompted your crisis of conscience? Script doesn’t care, so why should I? Fair enough. Oh, FN-2187 … no, I won’t call you the name you were given by the half-characterized Poe Dameron. This is the leader of the Stormtrooper legions? Maybe that’s why they suck – they only convincingly killed a half armed village of weaklings and Max von Sydow, just cashing a check. Maybe the best visual design in the new film, and the idea of a threatening, compelling female villain … taken down by a failed janitor, an old man and a wounded Wookie OFF SCREEN. A weak sauce wannabe with too much script on his shoulders. His design lacked oomph, his crew was MIA and … why Ben? Not Obi-Wan, as Leia knew him? Not Bail, after the man who raised her? What an odd and strikingly dischordant choice.Īlso, he clearly didn’t have the body count he needed to be an effective dark side user (he got shot with a gun while his saber was ignited). Yes, his affected voice sounds better than his own. To have abandoned his sister, his friend, his calling, his work … Luke Skywalker is a failure at everything he set out to do, as the galaxy remains threatened by essentially the same force that killed his surrogate parents, corrupted his father and killed the Jedi. They flew across half of space and couldn’t drop Rey at the top? Preposterous. Moreover, why wouldn’t R2 go? One of the most crucial elements of six movies, the only one who knew everybody and saw everything, he slept through most of The Force Awakens and didnt take a trip to see his master?Īlso, why all the penitent walking up a hill. After the cliched Poe Dameron run, it was just a matter of flying to him, only to not hear him say a word? When the two droids matched maps, the rush to find Luke felt like it was tacked on. We didn’t hear Palpatine’s name or anything other than his title in most of the original trilogy. His name – Snoke – sounds like something people made up as a temporary placeholder and forgot to fix, a space faring Sussudio. You’d think someone would realize the threat snub fighters pose, given the millions of Imperial military who’ve died at the hands of relatively small numbers of people. His dialogue wasn’t exactly quote worthy, his character design was lackluster and if he had Force powers, it didn’t give him clairvoyance enough to avoid ANOTHER GIANT SPACE WEAPON GETTING BLOWN UP BY X-WINGS. The Wiz, er, Supreme Leader Snoke appears first as a giant hologram (overcompensating, much?) and was not only not threatening, he was visually uninteresting. His threat was so huge that his minions were made more impressive by his absence and the pervasiveness of his reach. When the Empire was first mentioned in film, The Emperor is mentioned so briefly and in such a passing fashion that he is almost like a constant, a fact like gravity or the media overreporting idiotic presidential candidates and mass shootings. This commentary will have LOTS OF SPOILERS. If George Lucas managed to use ring composition to craft six films, this is a costume gem that fell loose from its housing. Great practical effects and visually appealing, but creatively bereft, retrograde in every way and predictable to a fault. The Force Awakens was a fantastically rendered karaoke version of Star Wars.
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Okay, I’m not that good, but you get the idea. It has been said to be an enjoyable and distinctively different cover, like Stevie Wonder’s version of “Till You Come Back To Me” is different than Aretha Franklin’s. I do a number of things that are not in Chris Martin’s vocal rendition – altered noted, changed line readings, adding runs, et cetera. One of my favorite songs to sing is “The Scientist” by Coldplay. I’ve made a decent amount of money at it and I’m not bad. I’ve been singing and hosting karaoke professionally since 2004. No, wait, before I start, let me tell you a story.
![greg grunberg tubbler greg grunberg tubbler](https://64.media.tumblr.com/97b298bb43bc48091e039841afe1b336/tumblr_o3hpuqWk8N1qhztfzo1_400.png)
I am going to be asked a lot in the next few days or weeks or whatever why I, essentially, hated Star Wars: The Force Awakens.